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A common Biblical objection to same-sex relationships goes something like this:
Is it true that the only justification for sex is reproduction? Can this position be justified by biology? Can it be justified by the Bible? Do Christadelphians believe that sex is only for reproduction?
Has God told us we ought to be reproducing? In Genesis 1:28 God told us to "Be fruitful and increase in number
." If we are supposed to be reproducing then same-sex relationships, which cannot produce children, must be wrong. But if same-sex relationships are wrong because they are rebelling against the command to increase in number, then lots of other relationships are also wrong for the same reason. It would be wrong for a married couple to use contraception. It would be wrong for someone to decide to remain single. What does the Bible say?
In 1 Corinthians 7:8, Paul says "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.
" (NIV) It is good to stay unmarried. Jesus says the same thing.
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?" (Matthew 19:4-5, NIV)
This looks like a commandment to get married, and it is sometimes treated as such. However, a few verses later, Jesus says that the "commandment" to marry is not a commandment for everyone:
Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." (Matthew 19:11-12, NIV)
As we would expect, Paul and Jesus agree. Marriage is not compulsory. If marriage is not compulsory, then reproduction is not compulsory.
What are the biological and Biblical reasons for a straight couple having a sexual relationship? First the biological. It is obvious from biology that there is more than reproduction to sex. Unlike almost all other mammals, human beings do not come into season—they are sexually active at all times of the year. Unlike most mammals, human females are interested in sex even when they are unlikely to conceive. Human females remain interested in sex even after the menopause. The average opposite-sex couple will have sex thousands of times during the relationship, yet even if they are not using any form of contraception they will be unlikely to produce more than 10 children. If the biological purpose of sex is reproduction, then it is extremely inefficient in human beings. On the other hand, in many mammals conception happens much more efficiently. Some mammals, such as the domestic cat, conceive nearly every time they have sex. The evidence from biology is that in human beings there is more to sex than reproduction. Think about it: we are created in the image of God. Why would He have designed us so inefficiently?
In the Bible, sexual love is celebrated, not as a way of reproducing, but as a form of love between two people. The Song of Solomon is an entire book devoted first and foremost to the love—the physical, sexual love—between a man and a woman. The Song of Solomon is about two people that love each other and take pleasure in each other's bodies. Where, in this great celebration of sex, is reproduction mentioned?
In 1 Corinthians, we have Paul's advice to married couples:
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. (1 Corinthians 7:3-6, NIV)
If reproduction is the purpose of sex, why doesn't Paul mention it here? This passage encourages, almost commands, a couple to have a fulfilling sexual relationship, but it says nothing about reproducing.
Sex is fun. Sex is something that a couple can use to draw closer to one another. It is something that can strengthen a relationship between two people. Sex can also be used for reproduction, but that is hardly the primary purpose. Sex does not have to be linked to reproduction to be moral.
This is what Christadelphians believe about sex. No ecclesia would disfellowship a elderly married couple for having a sexual relationship, even though they are both past the age where they could have children. No Christadelphian ecclesia would disfellowship a young married couple who enjoyed a sexual relationship but used contraception because they didn't want children. (In both those cases, Paul's advice would encourage both couples to remain sexually active as long as there was desire.) No Christadelphian would insist that someone who was infertile should remain celibate for the rest of their life.
Sex is not about reproduction. How does that modify the argument at the top of this page? That argument begins "God gave us sex so that we could reproduce", but that is wrong. It is more accurate to say something like this:
Sex does not have to be linked to reproduction to be moral, but it should be part of a loving relationship. A same-sex couple can be in a loving relationship just as an opposite-sex couple can be.
There is a danger that all this talk of sex will hide the wider issue: love. From time to time, people write to me and say "It is beautiful when a man and a woman love each other, but disgusting when two men have sex." There is a misconception that opposite-sex relationships are about love, and same-sex relationships are about sex. This is not true. If you have ever been in love, remember how you feel when you look at or think about your beloved. Those are the same basic feelings that anyone feels when they look at the person they love. It doesn't make any difference if it is love between two people of opposite sex, or between two people of the same sex.
A loving relationship between two people is always a beautiful thing. It is love, not reproduction, that makes a relationship moral.
Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world
Matthew 25:34, NIV