The Meaning of Marriage

Marriage1 is instituted almost right at the start of the Bible, in Genesis.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24, NIV)

In the New Testament, the relationship between Christ and the church is compared to the relationship between the bridegroom and his bride, or the relationship between a husband and his wife.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:25-32, NIV)

In Genesis 2:23, Adam says Eve "is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" (NIV). In Ephesians 5:30, Paul says the followers of Christ are "members of his body" (NIV). This metaphor is also used in Revelation, where the church is the "bride" and Christ the "bridegroom" It is an important metaphor. It teaches us about the relationship between Christ and the church using something we can all understand: the relationship between a husband and wife.

Because of this metaphor, some people believe that same-sex relationships are wrong: a monogamous same-sex relationship cannot teach us about the Christ-church relationship, no matter how loving or long term it is.

Other people see that Genesis teaches that same-sex relationships are wrong because they are an act of rebellion against the commandment to marry: "The basic principle of Gen 2:24 exposes the sin of homosexuality; it is God's intention that man and woman should marry and cleave to each other."2

What Did Christ Say?

In Matthew, we have Christ's own commentary on Genesis 2:24.

"Haven't you read," [Jesus] replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? ... Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." (Matthew 19:4-5,11-12, NIV)

This could not be clearer. As I said in a previous article, marriage is not compulsory: "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given." It is not a sin to not marry.

An unmarried man's lifestyle does not teach us about the Christ-church relationship in the way that a happily married Christadelphian couple's does.3 Is he therefore sinning by remaining single? No. His lifestyle is rebellion against God's "intention" that everyone should get married. Is that sin? No, because God does not intend that everyone gets married.

Who are the Eunuchs?

What about the "basic principle" of Genesis 2:24? Do same-sex relationships violate this? We should consider the three groups of people that Christ tells us are not expected to marry.

• Eunuchs "born that way"
• Eunuchs "made that way by men"
• Those who "have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven"

The second category, eunuchs "made that way by men" are obviously men who have been physically emasculated at some point, a practise that was well-known, and sometimes even common, throughout history.4 The third category are obviously people who have decided not to marry for religious reasons, such as the people described in 1 Corinthians.

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35, NIV)

But what about the first category, eunuchs who were "born that way"? It is tempting to assume that they are people who are born with incomplete reproductive organs. But is this what people in the 1st Century believed about born eunuchs? We can't tell from Biblical sources ("born eunuchs" are only mentioned in Matthew 19) so we must look at other ancient sources.

Contrary to popular belief, eunuchs were not lacking in sexual desire. Eunuchs often had sexual relationships with men, as described in Apuleius' ancient novel, The Golden Ass.5 The defining characteristic of eunuchs was not emasculation, but a sexual disinterest in women, or disinterest or disability to reproduce.6 For example, Clement of Alexandria, commenting on Matthew 19, says: "Some men, from their birth, have a natural sense of repulsion from a woman; and those who are naturally so constituted do well not to marry."7 The ancient Jewish text The Wisdom of Sirach says that a eunuch "sighs" or "groans" if he has to embrace a woman.8 What sort of man could be a eunuch "by nature"? This phrase describes a man who, for no physical reason, is not sexually interested in women. As well as some others, all gay men could be described this way. The institution of marriage is not for everyone. Christ explicitly says that born eunuchs—a term which includes gay men—are exempt from marriage. Same-sex relationships do not violate the "basic principle" of Genesis 2:24. Gay men are "born eunuchs", as the man who remains unmarried so he can remain concerned with the Lord's affairs has renounced marriage because of the Kingdom of Heaven. These men are exempt from the "basic principle" of Genesis 2:24, from no authority less than Christ himself.

Marriage and the Purpose of God

There is a related argument against same-sex relationships. It goes something like this: "Same-sex relationships deny the purpose of God. God made a woman (not a man) as the perfect companion for Adam."

Eve, a woman, was a perfect companion for Adam. Eve complimented Adam, and together they were able to have children, following the command to "Be fruitful and increase in number" (Genesis 1:28, NIV). It would not have been possible for a same-sex couple to do that. Today, not everyone is supposed to marry and reproduce.

The creation of Eve is described in Genesis 2:20-22.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Eve was created as a companion for Adam. This does not mean that every man has a female companion specially created for him. In fact, because not everyone is supposed to marry, it is obvious that not every man has a woman created to be his perfect partner. Same-sex partnerships no more "deny the purpose of God" than remaining celibate does.

Points like this highlight how weak the Biblical case against same-sex relationships is.The Bible gives clear moral guidance. If you are looking for moral guidance in metaphor, or ill-defined concepts such as "denying the purpose of God", then you are not in a strong position.9

Conclusions

Marriage is an important institution. We can learn about the relationship between Christ and the church by looking at the relationship between a husband and wife. Marriage has existed almost right from the start of the Bible. But marriage is not compulsory, and not marrying is not sinful. "Born eunuchs", a phrase that includes gay men, are among those that Christ says do not have to marry.